For All my Sin - Psalm 51 - Lent 5B

For all my sins

Tony E Dillon Hansen

Reflection based upon Psalm 51, Jeremiah 31:31-34; John 12:20-33

Opening prayer

I remember as an alter boy how the priest would wash hands prior to the Eucharist. He would recite the words from Psalm 51.

“God have mercy on me… Wash away my iniquities and cleanse me from my sin.”

Yes, especially before preparing the Eucharist.

This psalm is a prayer from King David that asks for mercy and forgiveness for some serious transgressions he had committed. Remember, the prophet called upon David to apologize and to repent. 

In this season of Lent, it is appropriate for us to atone for the transgressions we have committed and perhaps, remember whom deserves our deepest apologies. Also, how do we correct these injustices.

I have committed grave sins in my life. As a person that is highly critical of the self, I should have known the damage to come, but failed to listen - failed to heed that which was needed. This is more than breaking Lenten promises to oneself. For sin knows no limits - whether stranger, friend, or family.

In those sins, I forgot who would be impacted because my ego, my wants, my personal desires took precedence over others. That is because sin is rooted in ego and selfishness. It is lost in negative emotion. 

Yet ego only goes so far and selfishness only goes so far. When eyes are opened to what has happened, only then, do we realize what has happened - probably when you are caught. (Some never realize their sin and unfortunately remain lost.)

Why? Because when we think only about ourselves and not of others, we lose ourselves in the depths of temptation, fear, anger and hate. We don’t see others. We don’t see neighbors as friends but instead objects. We dont see others as having rights, fair treatment or justice. We don’t see that which God sets before us. We don’t see God.

That is because these temptations, fears and negative emotions cloud our eyes and prevent us from thinking clearly.

The “whys” matter only when they appease the temptation and desires, regardless of who is hurt or what damage that is inflicted. I can’t see you or feel empathy because I only see me and my wants. 

That is truly selfish, and that is truly hurting. The person that gets hurt the most is usually who… me. The problem of sin (aside from damage to others) the problem is that the person committing is doing the most damage to oneself.  

Warren Buffet has been quoted saying that it can take a lifetime to create a good reputation but only minutes to destroy it. 

Because when we cast aside the truth, we cast aside neighbors, and we cast aside God. Then we are truly not just selfish but alone in our selfishness. 

Alone in ego. Alone in sin. Sin spirals so that we grow even more alone in feelings, feeling lost, as the sin spirals us down.

Yet we don’t have to stay there and live there. 

Jesus comes to us through the power of the cross to give a chance to find God and to find grace in our world. Jesus comes to us, breaking bread so that a new covenant is shed for us and for the forgiveness of sins.

Admit you were wrong, turn towards the light of God and humbly ask for forgiveness. I ask for forgiveness to those I have hurt.

Some apologies are left for God for some hurts need not a personal intervention from us who committed such. Trauma also can linger. All apologies have to be received by God.

For it isn’t just the people that we have crossed, but God. Thus David’s prayer asks for mercy and prays that God will grant such.

Like Lady Macbeth, sin can leave a stain, but unlike her, the spot can be washed via the love and forgiveness of Jesus. For “whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, God will honor.” Let your heart follow God not ego.

We cant serve Jesus with hate in our heart. We can’t serve Jesus when we neglect those around us. We can’t serve Jesus when we turn away from God. We can’t serve Jesus with only our ego or our selfishness.

Lift up instead and see God around you and with you. See God waiting with forgiveness for you- you who have sinned. 

Pray the words of Psalm 51 and ask for God’s mercy, to wash away the sin and cleanse our soul (not so that we do it again) but that we get right with God with clean heart and spirit that is restored to life and sight of God . 

Learn the lesson and get right with God.

Let God forgive you for the malevolence and sin. For as long as we hold onto sin, we hold onto hurt and pain.

For those seeking apologies from us who have sinned, perhaps there is opportunity to let God forgive as well. 

Yes, for those of us holding onto the pain and hurt of sin done to us, let us be healed with God’s forgiveness and love so that we might be right with God too. Then we can learn the lesson to teach others and to be the example of forgiveness that God is for us.

That forgiveness, that love, Beloved, is.

Thanks Be To God